ChibiLovett

  1.) I may no longer borrow Lady Caterina’s shampoo. 2.) No matter how silky, shiny, and strawberry-scented it makes my hair. 3.) No matter how hungry I get, I must not eat wild mushrooms. 4.) Because Cardinal di Medici is only going to buy the “allergic reaction to ibuprofen” excuse once. 5.) Nor am I permitted to beg. 6.) Even if women always fall for my “puppy eyes”. 7.) Father Tres is authorized to shoot me in the crotch if I ever ask to him to dance “The Robot” again. 8.) Under absolutely no circumstances am I allowed a credit card. 9.) Or a debit card. 10.) Or a checkbook 11.) I am no

                      ARCHAEOLOGISTS CLAIM TO HAVE FOUND GOD     Archaeologists revealed in a press conference that they had unearthed an Entity of Unknown Origin (EUO) early Thursday morning when they broke open a sealed structure. Up until the archaeologists cracked it open, the structure had been untouched for nearly two thousand years. Archaeologists were unable to answer how the EUO managed to survive, or why the structure was sealed in the first place.     “This is a major discovery,” says head archaeologist Noland Grace.  “Whether you’re a Christian or not, this is going to be a game changer. We found God. I